Daddy Doula: How one man became the resource he needed during his wife’s pregnancy
When the word “doula” comes to mind, it may evoke thoughts of someone coaching a woman through the heavy breathing, intense pain, and sometimes overall dangerous circumstances that occur before new life comes into the world.
While a transformative experience for mothers and families in general, the act of giving birth for Black women is especially dangerous, given their disproportionately high rates of maternal mortality.
According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, “Black women are three times more likely to die from a pregnancy-related cause than White women.” Factors contributing to these disparities include quality healthcare, underlying chronic conditions, structural racism, and implicit bias.
Peter Bullock, a Trenton native and certified birth and postpartum doula, has created a space for expecting fathers looking for resources, guidance, and overall support as they prepare for their right of passage into fatherhood through his company, Hey Black Dad, which educates men on roles specific to fathers to be.
Before the birth of his child, Bullock made it his mission to research how he could actively participate in advocating for his partner, not just during birth, but during pregnancy, delivery, and postpartum.
“I wanted to be as helpful as possible, but I also didn’t want to ‘break’ anything, because sometimes as men we get scared and feel if we don’t know about something we’re going to break it,” Bullock confessed. After looking for resources to help prepare him on becoming a new father, Bullock found himself coming up short so he enrolled in a maternal health program.
Under the tutelage of a team of veteran midwives and doula trainers, it took Bullock 90 hours to become certified and be able to go from looking for the source of information to becoming a central figure for fathers looking to protect and provide support to their birthing partners.
“Holistically, Black moms in labor have not been heard. Making sure there’s someone in her circle who knows how to defend, protect, and provide support if necessary for the safety of her and the child.”
According to Bullock, fathers should begin preparing for the birth of their child before conception even begins. As such, he leads his clients with a series of sessions from conducting weekly family meetings and planning date nights to establishing birth plans and navigating challenges. Bullock said the price of sessions may vary from family to family depending on circumstances.
“Preparation for fathers begins before the child is conceived,” Bullock said with a full, wide grin.
When it comes to labor and delivery Bullock takes a back seat, as he believes that to be a sacred, feminine space, with the only masculine presence being the father. He does, however, ensure his fathers are prepared with the physical tools they need (rice sacks for heating) and intangible skills (great communication with the mom’s doula) they will need.
While carving out a road to fatherhood wasn’t easy for Bullock given the lack of previously available resources, he rose to the occasion of being a leader in the space. “It evolved into what it is today by just talking to people. I’d see an expecting couple and simply ask them if they have a doula.”
For other men interested in the field, Bullock suggests sitting in on childbirth classes and speaking with other men in the space to get some perspectives on doulas for dads as first steps. He also offers a virtual training How Doulas Can Include Dads which provides “the training with tips and tools to add to your doula bag’.”
For more information on Bullock’s services, click here.
Erin McMillon, MSM, CIA, is an author and visual artist from Trenton, N.J. A passionate wordsmith, she has been weaving tales and crafting poignant pieces since her days at Trenton High. She has written for a wide variety of print and digital publications and her visual art has been shown at The Grand Road Theatre in Williamstown, NJ and Artworks Trenton.
